What Am I Doing Here?

My brain is an endless stream of curiosity, a constant flow of ideas, so naturally I talk too much. But I also like to write. For years I’ve been telling myself if I wrote instead of spoke I could probably create something pretty authentic. I’ve tried. I have a collection of journals each half filled with entries that span months between each other (consistency is not my strong suit). My inspiration lasts about as long as a candle under a fan. But at the end of the spring 2017 semester  I made a promise to myself: this is the summer I get my shit together.

Get my shit together. Isn’t that what college kids say every semester until suddenly they graduate and realize their shit still isn’t together?
Well yeah… and to be honest, I don’t think anyone ever really gets their shit together. I use the phrase loosely, allow me to explain.

College is supposed to be a journey of “self discovery”. You’re supposed to spend four years focusing on yourself and your future. Well somehow I missed that memo or maybe I chose to ignore it because up until now my life has always worked itself out pretty well with no effort on my part. I’ve spent the last three years focusing on everything (money, boys, friends, alcohol, weed, clothes, a new car, the list goes on) except myself. So when I say “this is the summer I get my shit together”, I mean this is the summer I focus on me.
I want to be the most physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally fit I have ever been and that journey starts here, doing something I love to do. Who knows, maybe I will create something authentic.